Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

JPMorgan’s Jamie Dimon Sees Bond Market Crack — Why And What To Do - Forbes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Stock futures inch lower to kick off start of the new trading month: Live updates - CNBC

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Is Twilight appropriate for a 12-year-old?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do American conservatives say that America is a constitutional republic and not a democracy? Would it not make sense to call America a constitutional republican democracy?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

How is digital marketing important for business?

I see through liars

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Wake Forest baseball coach apologizes for homophobic slur caught on camera - The Washington Post

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Which country do you recommend for me to live in, England, the USA, Italy, Spanish, or Austria?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How do I identify fake friends in life?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can read

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”